Thursday, February 21, 2013

Trail Run Therapy

How do I help my sweet, sensitive son who wears his emotions on his sleeve and always puts his heart out there grow up to be a strong man? Someone who is willing to take responsibility for his choices, who can be "tough" in a good way, someone who loves adventure and is willing to take risks.

Aside from modeling these things for him, which is the best way... I have to create an environment where he has freedom. Freedom to fail without lecture or punishment. Freedom to experience direct consequences, even painful consequences, that are a result of his choices. At times I have to gently push him out of the nest. I have to trust him and support him and give him the opportunity to be in control of areas in his life.

  After a very rough day I told Sam we would run some trails together in hopes of giving him and myself opportunities to practice these things. Once we were on the trail I let him take the lead. He chose the pace and the trails and loved every second.
He stopped occasionally to explore the creek by the trail or climb a fallen tree then would say "lets rock it," and take off running again. I bit my tongue a lot. I wanted to keep telling him he was doing a good job, or correct his running form, or give him tips, or ask him to avoid the mud, or tell him to be careful. By saying any of those things I believe it would have taken away from his experience. It would limit his sense of adventure and make him feel incapable. I became a silent observer and watched his confidence increase and his frustrations from the day melt away. He started the run feeling angry and powerless and ended the run happy and empowered.



2 comments:

  1. Really good stuff Anna. I'm glad you are Sam's mommy and were willing to think of him and invest in him even after a long hard day.

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  2. ANNA. YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD MOM. And a good writer.

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