I CANNOT WAIT TO HOLD THIS BABY IN MY ARMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all.

35 weeks

Simply messy

Parenthood is messy. I recently had a conversation with some other moms and moms-to-be about how becoming a parent exposes our real selves even more than marriage does. Parenting in a loving way has proven to be very challenging. It requires creativity and asking for Gods help and strength every single day. It requires letting go of many conveniences and it confronts my selfishness on an hourly basis. Sleeping in, eating uninterrupted, and completing any one task without someone needing me are just a few of the things I've had to let go of since becoming a parent. How and where I spend my time is no longer guaranteed. In many ways, I've given up choices that a single person possesses. There are fewer options for me and it gets complicated.

 I literally get messy everyday; physically and emotionally.  Theres also a pretty constant need to keep up on clutter, dishes, laundry, meals, and school with Sam. So much to think about. So much to be hard on myself about... because in addition to, and more importantly than, all that, I need to make time to love on my kids and recieve their affection too. It's a balance. It's a challenge. It's heartbreaking when I realize how I've failed. It's chaotic and loud at times. But the wonderful thing is... it's also so amazingly simple.

As I watch my kids grow, I learn so much from them.  I realize how much chaos I create in my own head. I make my life more complicated than it has to be. Their worlds are so simple. They love, fight,  learn, grow, eat, sleep and play. Simple. They don't get wrapped up in their failures and stuck in their heads like I do. They don't worry about the future. They freely receive the love we give them and appreciate the small things in life.

Parenthood is an incredible gift. A gift that is sometimes so simple and pure that I miss it. Today at lunch, Simone kept wrapping her little arms around my neck and saying "yuv you" and "hi". She would nod, as if confirming and agreeing with her statements and then go back to eating. I took a moment to be still and enjoy the love. So simple. So profound. So not-messy.

Right before we ate lunch, I realized Sam was picking up his toys without being told. I was thrilled and expressed my appreciation for his thoughtfulness. I asked him why he was picking up on his own, and his response? "Well, I realized you had picked up my toys for me earlier, and I thought it would be nice to pick up the mess we made." So simple. So thoughtful.

Jake has been talking to Sam about respecting the earth by not littering. He's also explained how important composting and recycling is. The way he simplified it so Sam could understand is by saying the earth is hungry. There are some things the earth can't digest and some things it can. A few days later Jake made some delicious coconut flour pancakes and the kids took them out on the porch to enjoy. After noticing that Sam was eating them a little too fast, Jake realized that the sweet kid had  thrown a few pancakes onto the ground. Sam explained that he was feeding the earth because it was hungry and since it was healthy food that could be digested, he wanted to share. So simple. So sweet.

This evening Sam came in from playing with his neighbor friend and told me that while he wanted to be with his friend, he had also wanted to be home "loving on" me. I was touched that in the excitement of being with his buddy, I was even a thought in his head. So simple.

Parenthood is messy. Yes! But it's also so refreshingly simple and very sweet. What will I choose to focus on? Will it be the messes or will it be the innumerable moments of simple joy that are available to give and receive?

Happier without sugar

Just saw this article on a friends facebook wall and can definitely attest to a lot of it. We've always tried to limit our sugar intake but two weeks ago, out of necessity,  we cut out added sugar almost completely with the exception of taking Sam and Simone to an old candy shop in downtown Jeffersonville. The following day was terrible. There were temper tantrums, crying fests, total breakdowns over the smallest things and we realized that our poor kids, especially Sam, were going through sugar withdraw.

 It was so sad to watch. It really helped us to be understanding towards them when we realized what was going on. Before cutting sugar out of our diet, we thought our kids were normal. They seemed happy enough with normal kid issues, but after being completely free of added sugar we're once again amazed at the difference a good diet can have. Our kids have been so much more compliant, happier, more creative, much less picky about food (Sam actually ate and liked mushrooms and mango) and more. The foods that are naturally sweet are much more appealing and appreciated by him and Simone. The cravings that we all struggled with in the afternoons have diminished and especially Sam, who is the super picky eater, has a healthier appetite.

It's very hard, more so in the beginning, but it's been well worth the battle to give up sugar because the benefits far outweigh the temporarily satisfaction of popping added sugar into your mouth. Feeding a craving that will never end and in fact, will only grow, is just not worth it anymore.

Artist

She's got skills and is SO serious about her work. It means to world to her to have our approval of her newest sketch or painting.

                        She has spent up to an hour and a half at one time, contentedly drawing.

Her hand-eye coordination is fantastic for a 1 year old

Simones artwork includes, but is not limited to: permanent marker all over the white windowsill, carpet drawings, and painted arms and legs. I don't mind because she's finally found something that keeps her occupied and happy for hours a day.

Simone-isms

Simone has been sick since last weekend and I've received more lovin' from her in the past six day than I have in her almost two years of life. It's been a bonding experience for sure. Today she was resting her head on my belly when the baby kicked and actually moved her head. She got really still then after being kicked a  few more times she turned to me with a frown and accusingly commanded me to "dop!" (stop) I told her it was the baby and as she laid back down she said "no, no, no!" It's safe to say she didn't believe me :)

Favorite Simone-ism = coming right up to my face, cocking her head to the side in a very motherly way and whispering "hi" while gently holding my face with her little hands. Then she kisses me all over the face.  I cannot express in words how sweet and kind Simone is. You just have to experience it yourself to understand.

One of the things I adore about Simone is that she's one big contradiction.  Her sweetness goes hand in hand with her sass and spunk. I laugh on the inside when I tell her to stop making a mess, or to pick up her toys and she turns to me and with furrowed brow, pursed lips and tiny finger to her mouth tells me to "shhhh." Sometimes I can't hold the laughter in and she gets pretty offended that I didn't take her as seriously as she takes herself.

This evening I told her to stop pulling on the blinds and she shushed me and said no. Sams shook his head in disbelief and said... "she's got a strrrong will!" hahaha.  

22 weeks

I've totally enjoyed feeling and watching the baby move this week. He/she is getting so much stronger with each passing week. My favorite thing to do is lay on the couch after the kids have gone to bed and   watch baby move. That's seems to be the most active time of the day for the little munchkin. 

Sams socks

Last weekend Sams Grammy gave him a new pack of socks. I've watched in amusement as these socks have become very dear to him. I told him that the stripes on the sides looked like racing stripes so he spent yesterday morning racing around the house, pretending they made him go extra fast. He's even been kind enough to let Simone wear them to bed.

From a young age Sam has been a meticulously clean child and so today, when something very unclean happened to his beloved socks, it was too much for him to handle.

Simone was sitting on the counter, happily eating trail mix when she unexpectedly threw up chunks of breakfast (bananas and yogurt) and trail mix... all over his precious socks. I laughed out loud when the first thing that came out of his mouth was "oh my gosh, my socks. Oh gosh! Ohhhhh, I can't look. It's too much, it's tooooo much" He said this while covering his eyes with both his hands. So freakin' hilarious. I'm still laughing about it as I type.

Pregnancy update...

11 weeks 

Finally feeling better after being very sick for four weeks

14 weeks

                                                                        16 weeks
                                    Heard heartbeat and felt baby move for the first time

17 weeks

Jake was able to feel the baby move!

                                                                              18 weeks
                              Sam felt the baby kick his hand. The look on his face was priceless.

19 weeks

          This week I wondered if we had a super-child in there. He/she was moving so much and we were able to see it kick from the outside. 

                                                  20 weeks! Thrilled to be halfway done!!!!!


Baby #  3
Date you found out you were pregnant? November 6
How did you find out? I took a test. Nothing showed up so I threw it away. I went back to the test about 10 times in the next hour. Just to make sure :) After an hour a very faint line had appeared. So faint that I though I was imagining it so I threw it away again.
What was your initial reaction? I got hit by a panic/thrill attack. Literally had a hard time breathing.
Who did you tell first? Jacob, of course!
What were your initial symptoms? Fatigue and nausea.
How long did you wait to tell family? 20 weeks.
Was the baby planned? Absolutely!!!
Do you want to know the sex? A little but I like the surprise so we won't find out.
Any ultrasounds? Not so far and we won't get one unless we need to.
Due Date? July 14th. (I've been telling people July 12 which is the wrong date. Oops)
Total weight gain by 20 weeks? 9lbs
When did you switch to maternity clothes? 18 weeks but still able to wear most of my regular pants.
Any names picked out? Haven't even thought about it. I'll probably need to see the baby first.
Biggest Cravings? Dark chocolate peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's and GT's Kombucha!!
What is your favorite thing about being pregnant? Feeling and watching him/her kick! Nothing like it!

  Sam and Simone hearing the heartbeat for the first time. Simone was very protective and concerned for me when the midwife pulled out the doppler.

She became nervous and protective again before I got my blood pressure taken. I had to explain that we needed to check my bp to make sure the baby and I were doing well. This is her deciding to be ok with it : ) Such a sweetheart!!!!

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